November 3, 2020

Yesterday's blog dealt with the elections and endorsements (the elections part of which is happening today). Today's blog deals with yesterday, the feast of All Souls. It is also known as the Day Of The Dead in certain Spanish cultures. I don't know if the souls actually return to earth on this day, but Catholic tradition observes this time as a way to honor all the souls, those who've lived in the past, ancestors, the forgotten, etc.

I didn't have money on Sunday to honor all the departed I wanted to for the All Souls Day Mass, so I'll honor them here, in addition to my mother Patricia Faith Clarke (1942-91), who will have been passed 29 years as of this Thursday, November 5.

Donald G. Clarke (1935-95). The upcoming December 27 will have marked 25 years since his passing. I don't have anywhere near enough time or space to detail my feelings on my father here. I wonder how he would react to me being a published writer and music producer, although I can't make money off of either.

Sally Bowling (1943-2017). I didn't know until recently that she was my half-aunt, but she still is my full Godmother. She had health problems for most of the time I knew her, but she was always fun to be around. She even liked some of my music (even though she never knew that the "Memories" song was about her and my Godfather, her husband).

Larry Bowling (1941-2014). My Godfather never got to listen to my music. But he was one of 2 relatives who got me into coin collecting. When I lived in Pennsylvania at the end of 2003, I got him into attending Mass again. I didn't know until then that he was a huge fan of choir music, and it's hard to hear choir music now without thinking of him.

Rodger Barnhart (1938-2017). If it wasn't for Uncle Rodger, my parents would have never been introduced to each other. Uncle Rodger was stationed in the same unit as my father during Vietnam. My last memories of him were of the drive from Chambersburg to the Amtrak station in Harrisburg. I didn't know until then that he liked any type of electronic or chillout music. He never got to hear any of my music, but some of my recent music (especially the Therapy song) was inspired by that trip, and I got the idea for the Tribulation song right after his passing.

Hazel Stokes Clarke (1911-95). She was the only grandmother I remembered, as my other grandmother (Grace Fogal Faith) died shortly after my birth. Grandma Hazel was very eccentric. My 2015 trip to her hometown of Toronto filled in some blanks on her life (born at home, raised in an apartment above a fish and chips shop, her father's ruinous lawsuit against his brother that led to the loss of his business and emigration to Detroit). When I first got my DNA test, I wasn't sure if I was related to her. Now, a good chunk of my DNA matches (and nearly all the ones from the UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand) are from her branch of the family tree. Grandma Hazel also got me into coin collecting. If she were still alive, I don't know who she would be more disappointed in- me, my sister, or my estranged niece Allie.

George F. Clarke (1908-81). As he died when I was elementary school, I didn't know much about him when he died. I know his health was why my family left Colorado Springs after my father's retirement from the Air Force. I didn't know until well after he died who his parents were, his sales career, his closeness to his mother (who died before my father was born), his military career during WW2, or that he actually was suffering from ALS at the time of his death. Probably the one thing I remember most about him is a song he always sang to my grandmother. I have no idea if he wrote it himself or appropriated it from Vaudeville or Tin Pan Alley.
You'll take Grace with a bulldog face
But I'll take Hazel
You'll take Rose with a turned up nose
But I'll take Hazel
She's the kind of smarty
Who breaks up every party
Don't take Hazel, don't take Hazel
I'll take her myself, by gosh!

Richard J Faith (1915-95). The grandfather I remember most, and the soul on here most likely to still be in Purgatory after 25 years. He was good at building stuff and electrical work. I didn't know until after he died that he was into boating. I found out years after he died that he should have been a Mateer instead of a Faith (as his parents never married, and his father was drafted into WW1 shortly after his birth). My DNA test results show relation to quite a few Mateers at 3rd Cousin level and above. He was not above taking advantage of family, including coercing me to drive him to drive from Chambersburg to the bus station in Louisville, KY, when I had plans to go from Chambersburg to NYC (the opposite direction). He left his tickets to head back in my car, and it took a lot of searching in Midtown to find a FedEx to send off the tickets. About 4 years later, I ended up moving to NYC on a permanent basis. Supposedly he cheated on my grandmother Grace, but DNA tests on one of my Godmother's daughters prove that my grandmother got back at him, and he was forced to raise a daughter that wasn't his. As I am Catholic, I don't believe in Karma. But my mother, Godmother, and other aunts and uncles managed to survive their time with him.

November 2, 2020

Once again, an election presents itself as the "biggest election in our lifetime". And considering how divided this nation is getting, they may be right. Since I last blogged, the House became Democratic and the Senate got more Republican. An annoying virus swept the world, and killed 2-5% of its victims. Riots have gotten more commonplace. Antifa is getting bolder, and ideas that were considered crackpot when I attended Brooklyn College over 20 years ago are now the mainstream of the Democratic Party. And cancel culture is the norm.

I don't how likely any of these are to win, but here are my endorsements for tomorrow's election:

PRESIDENT
Donald Trump. Yeah, I know, from a character perspective, he's the Republican version of Bill Clinton (and that is NOT a compliment). But he has caused the economy to grow far better than it did under my distant cousin Obama. Trump has actually governed as a conservative, and has gotten tough with our biggest economic and military adversary (China, not the rapidly declining Putinist Russia). He has appointed 3 originalist Supreme Court Justices and hundreds of Federal judges to undo the activist judiciary promoted by his mostly Democrat predecessors. I don't know if it is because of his mainstream policies or his outrageous behavior, but the Democrats have gotten more radical in their opposition to him. Since 2016, the Democratic Party has embraced radical left ideas such as socialism, critical race theory/1619ism, higher taxes, Supreme Court packing, restrictions on religion, and bringing back the hated Obamacare Individual Mandate. Joe Biden may be the Democratic name on the ballot, but the real power if Biden is elected will be with anti-Catholic VP Kamala Harris and the radical left. Since Trump is the only thing standing between these leftist lunatics and control of the United States Government, I have no choice but to support Trump.


SENATE (Colorado)
Cory Gardner. He is probably the only statewide elected official that I have any respect for. He is a common sense conservative, and the only member of the Colorado congressional delegation with any major accomplishments (The BLM and Space Force headquarters moving to Colorado). Hickenlooper has broken his previous rule against negative campaigning, has gotten even more left wing, and has an ethics problem that mainfested during his last term as Colorado Governor.


HOUSE District 3
Lauren Boebert. She made her name as a vocal opponent to the state's COVID 19 restrictions on businesses, and parlayed that into an upset win in the Republican primary over incumbent Scott Tipton. Diane Mitsch Bush is an academic socialist masquerading as a compromising moderate.

District 5
No endorsement. This district has never been represented by a Democrat. The palatable Libertarian candidate (Doug Lunde) pulled out of the race days before the election. Democrat Jillian Freeland is too liberal for this district. And Doug Lamborn is the kind of Republican who gives the party a bad name. He muscled out any primary competition this year despite a recent challenge to his ability to run for re-election.

NY House District 11 Nicole Malliotakis. Historically this Staten Island based district has been the conservative beacon of the NYC Congressional delegation. It needs to return to that.

Colorado Amendments

Amendment B
No. Tampering with the state Constitution to lower business property taxes inevitably results in higher taxes for homeowners.

Amendment C
Yes. A common sense loosening of restrictions for charatable organizations that want to obtain charitable gaming licenses.

Amendment 76
HELL YES. Passing this amendment means only US Citizens can vote in Colorado elections. The status quo is in violation of federal law, so this should be a no brainer.

Amendment 77
Yes. Only 3 cities in this state allow legal gaming, so why shouldn't those cities' voters determine allowing more (or less) gaming types and regulations?

Propositions

Proposistion EE
Yes. This allows vaping to be taxed- currently it is far cheaper to vape than to smoke cigarettes. Personally I think all forms of smokable tobacco should be outlawed and eradicated from the earth, but that is not up for vote this year.

Proposition 113
HELL NO. Tampering with the spirit (if not letter) of the US Constitution in order to make it easier for popular vote winners (i.e. Democrats) to become President is a very bad idea.

Proposition 114
No. Gray wolves don't need government intervention to return to the wildlands of Colorado.

Proposition 115
HELL YES. Currently abortion in Colorado is legal up to childbirth. While I would like to see this barbarous practice outlawed, this proposition lowers the age at which a fetus can be aborted to 22 weeks, which is line with most of the rest of country.

Proposition 116
HELL YES. This lowers the state income tax from 4.63% to 4.55%. Sadly, there is a very vocal opposition to lowering taxes in this state, mostly by the same idiots who want to overturn TABOR.

Proposition 117
Yes. This strengthens TABOR by mandating voter approval of any government enterprise that is currently exempt from TABOR.

Proposition 118
HELL NO. Paid Medical and Family leave is the reponsibilty of employers, not the government. If this becomes law, expect taxes to be raised considerably in order to pay for this.

The Judiciary
Colorado allows for Judicial elections for state and county judges. In other words, if you don't like a corrupt judge in this state, you can fire them with your vote in this state. As nearly the entire state judiciary on this year's ballot was appointed by Democrats, I urge a no vote on all of them. Too bad this is not an option in my former home state of New York.

December 31, 2018

It's been a strange year for me. But the world (and America in particular) has also had a messed up 2018.

I wrote 2 years ago that Donald Trump could be a great President or give in to his caustic personality. Obviously he has done more of the latter- a summit with North Korea's Kim the Insane and a good economy due to less regulation and the abolition of the Obamacare tax are overshadowed by his obsession with a border wall, his desire to end birthright citizenship, tariffs with China that are undoing the good Trump has done for the economy, and his stonewalling over the Muller investigation that is proving that Trump's personality quirks (i.e. paying off mistresses and lying about it) are more criminal than the Russian contacts and meddling done by Trump associates and to a smaller extent by allies of the Hildabeest. Trump is rapidly becoming the Republican version of Bill Clinton (the most corrupt President of my lifetime), and that is not a compliment.

While North Korea is less likely to nuke us than they were at the start of 2018, China is becoming more aggressive, and Mad Vlad Putin's Russia is becoming more confrontational.

The environment is changing. Contrary to most radical environmentalist beliefs, climate is not static and is always changing. Some things man cannot influence or control (i.e. volcanism, tsunamis, the East African Rift splitting the continent of Africa apart, the fact that warming always comes after an ice age, the slow crustal sinking on the East Coast that is changing that coast's sea level), but pollution is affecting wind patterns, rain, and temperature variances. It used to be called Global Warming, but it's not causing warming everywhere. In some places, rainfall is increasing (especially the Northeast), while out West and in the Southeast, annual rainfall is decreasing. Glaciers are melting, and there is unusual warming in the Arctic. Combine rising sea levels and the natural sinking of the east coast, and it spells disaster for Atlantic coastal communities, especially Florida, the NYC area, and the Gulf Coast.

Trump's attitude led to the Democratic takeover for the House, which promises even more gridlock in 2019. Conversely, it also led to a more Republican Senate, which is good on the judicial front but bad for gridlock and getting anything legislative done. The judiciary has no business doing the legislative branch's work, but both sides seem to be content on letting the courts approve things that could never pass a legislative vote. This is why there was so much contention over the Kavanaugh vote earlier this year.

I have problems with most of the media. Right wing talk show hosts are screaming more and trying to defend Trump actions that are indefensible. The left (espeially NBC/MSNBC) is anti-Trump all the time (even on the good things he's done), and supportive of things that are even more radical than anything Trump has done (i.e. open borders, excessive regulation, Medicare for all, pre-JFK Federal income tax rates, Socialism, and overt hostility towards Catholics and Evangelicals).

Personally, I don't see how this country can unify or avoid a civil war. Hopefully I can afford to move out of the US if it ever gets to that.

December 30, 2018

What a long strange year it's been. I started the year with a high paying job in a small town in Maine. I had an apartment, a cat named Misty, and a 17 year old Ford Taurus that had handled a cross country move from Texas to Maine with minimal difficulty.

Less than a month later, I was unemployed, the apartment was no longer in my name, Misty was in the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society shelter, and the Taurus had barely survived a move from Maine to Brooklyn after a steering hose burst that wiped out my savings. My remaining possessions were in a storage unit in Long Island City. By the end of March, the Taurus was in the possession of a formerly car-less West Indian couple from Long Island, and I was in a psychosis inducing living environment in the New York City shelter system. By that time, I had resumed regular writing for the first time since March 2016 thanks to the Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen Writers' Workshop.

By the end of April, I had enough. Elmhurst Hospital diagnosed me with a severe case of depression. I had snuck my laptop into the shelter and composed a few songs- one of which mixed EDM and classical. I used what little savings I had from my state tax refunds and public assistance to pay for a one way flight out of NYC and the shelter system to Denver.

I spent a little over a week in Denver before ending up in one of their shelters, which was run by Denver's Catholic Charities. That situation was a lot less chaotic than the CAMBA, Ward's Island, and SCO shelters in New York. I was able to find temp work rather quickly. But the temp assignments were not permanent, and the one permanent job I secured (which lasted 10 days) put me at odds with my body clock and the shelter's meal schedule. During my spare time, I joined a writer's group from Denver called Hard Times. But after 2 months in the shelter and nothing permanent on the horizon, I decided to move back to my hometown of Colorado Springs in mid-July.

I blew most of my savings on a month and a half of a house share rental in the Hillside neighborhood. After numerous job rejections (including one at the Chidlaw Building where my father worked in the 1970s), I was hired by Elwood Staffing (the successor to my former longtime employer of SOS Staffing), and sent to a warehouse on the south side of town. The work was unlike any previous warehouse or assembly work I had done before. My coworkers were very close-knit and social, a major departure in attitude from previous co-workers in Denver, NYC, and Texas. My medical records were transferred to Peak Vista and Aspen Pointe. By the end of my first visit to Aspen Pointe, I found out I was misdiagnosed in NYC and Denver- I have been suffering from (previously undiagnosed) PTSD for years, dating back to when my father was still alive. Numerous events have triggered it, including my mother's sudden death in 1991, the events of 1995 (when I lost my grandparents and father within a 9 month span), my eviction and subsequent blacklisting by the Colorado Springs Salvation Army in January 2015 which led to a Catholic Charities assisted Greyhound ticket back east, and most recently, the violent DeLousio-mandated NYC shelter nightmare.

By late October, I had enough money to buy a car, a Buick Century. Due to an extended Thanksgiving break, I drove the Buick east towards Pennsylvania and NYC. I got to visit my relatives in PA for the first time in over a year. And the Buick was big enough to fit all of my belongings from the storage unit, which I emptied in the Buick's only (day) trip to NYC. The ride back was scary, after running out of money due to an unexpected insurance bill and snow-related road closures in Missouri.

Less than a week after my return from Pennsylvania, the warehouse laid me off. Apparently the decision was made high up in the company because my supervisor and co-workers had no idea until I returned to clean out my locker. Elwood sent me to a lumber company (which resulted in 2 hours of work and a finger injury) and to a moving company that handled events at the Broadmoor. About 10 days after I was laid off, I was called back to my former warehouse site, and I'm still there to this day.

I have been going to Mass at St. Mary's Cathedral since I returned to the Springs. A few people there remember me from the previous times I attended Mass. One family even invited me to their Christmas luncheon, to which I am very thankful.

What a long strange year it's been. I'm not quite up to where I was in early January. But I've discovered a lot about myself. I'm probably more open to different kinds of friends and relationships. I'm probably more Catholic than I was at the start of the year, as various church-run institutions in Denver and Colorado Springs helped me recover from a traumatic and violent situation in New York. I'm a more prolific writer than I have been in years. I have written 2 short stories with characters I haven't written about since 2011. Thanks to Holy Apostles, Hard Times, and Wattpad, anyone can read and comment on these works. I haven't composed as much music as I normally do (although I'm working on a couple of tracks for my annual New Year's Day release on Tuesday). Hopefully in 2019 I can get more settled.

August 28, 2018

At this point, I don't know what to think of life anymore. I moved back to my hometown of Colorado Springs 6 weeks ago and blew my entire savings into getting into a room rental that is cheaper than anything I've lived in since San Antonio. But the job market is nowhere near as great as it is presented in the local media and government websites. I don't know how much of this is due to my bad history (i.e. the Goodwill fiasco in 2007, my lack of transportation since March 2018, and being banned for life from anything to do with the local chapter of the Salvation Army in January 2015).

I finally did secure temp work this week, at the successor to my longtime former Springs employer of SOS Staffing (which was the only Springs employer to give me a positive reference). But I won't see any income that could cover my monthly rent before mid-September.

I don't know what happens next. I have no money to cover non-rent expenses. I don't expect the landlord to accept rent 2 weeks late, especially because that is longer than the unpaid rent time required for eviction. I've tried most of the charitable organizations and even GoFundMe, to no avail.

I don't expect to blog again anytime soon because I don't know if I can survive this after a combined 6 months of homelessness so far this year.

August 25, 2018

I don't have respect for most politicians these days. Our current President is scandal-prone, uncouth, and a walking disaster. And yet he won because his opponent was even worse- contemptuous of the law, promoting a political philosophy at odds with most Americans, and dismissive of her detractors to the point of calling them deplorables. And the current governor of my former state got away with saying 4 years ago that pro-life Catholics and gun rights supporters have no business living there. Where I live now, a crony corporate socialist almost in the mold of Bill De(mon)Blasio is leading the conservative outgoing state treasurer to be the next governor.

There is one fewer Senator tonight. Not too long after deciding to stop treatment for brain cancer, he passed this evening in Arizona. John McCain straddled the line between conservatism and moderation, and was called a "Maverick" as a result. In a sense, he was the last grownup left in Congress.

I got to meet John McCain in late 1999 at a political rally in Staten Island that I was covering for Brooklyn College's Journalism program. He was a bit blunt as far as his political speeches went, but after the rally, he was very nice to the press and to the people who came to the VFW to hear him speak.

McCain was very cordial to his political opponents. The Democrats liked working with him until he won the Republican nomination for President in 2008. Then they threw everything and the kitchen sink at him to make sure that Obama got elected. He regained their favor over the last 2 years as he became a target of now-President Trump.

Over the last 26 years, politics has gotten more extreme and less unifying. Socialism used to be a dirty word in American politics, now it has taken hold of a large segment of the Democratic Party. What was considered mainstream when I was a child is now considered right-wing, oppressive, and something to be overturned. Progressivism used to mean supporting progress, now it's a code name for the radical left. Congress seems to be split between a few people with common sense, a few Trump sycophants, and a growing number of "progressives" who want to bring down Trump, conservatism, and the whole capitalist system.

With McCain gone, there are few politicians left who could reach across the aisle and be respected by both parties. And the parties are drifting further and further apart with nativist Trumpism on the Republican side and radical left wing socialist antifa racist redistribution on the Democrat side. Trump and his opponents have made it an us versus them battleground. With McCain gone, there is no prominent voice left to attempt to bridge the widening political gulf.

April 24, 2018

As if my life can't get any worse...

I got a rejection e-mail earlier today from the last outstanding job offer I had left in NYC. And to add insult to injury, I got a call this afternoon from the New York City ID program- an ID I applied for in March got sent to the shelter I'm staying at. The shelter refused the mail with the new ID in it (in blatant violation of their own policy), and it got sent back to the city. I was told to pick it up in person no earlier than May 4, but at this point, I have no intention in staying in NYC that long.

Right now the only thing keeping me here is a psychiatric appointment for tomorrow morning (which I probably need to attend now more than ever, even if it is more of a diagnostic appointment for wherever I do move to). I am exploring bus options (supposedly the city provides one way bus tickets out of town), but it looks like any move will probably not change my homeless status.

So much for getting a job that pays $13 and hour or getting the chance to vote Andrew "No Homo" Cuomo out of office this November...