April 24, 2018

As if my life can't get any worse...

I got a rejection e-mail earlier today from the last outstanding job offer I had left in NYC. And to add insult to injury, I got a call this afternoon from the New York City ID program- an ID I applied for in March got sent to the shelter I'm staying at. The shelter refused the mail with the new ID in it (in blatant violation of their own policy), and it got sent back to the city. I was told to pick it up in person no earlier than May 4, but at this point, I have no intention in staying in NYC that long.

Right now the only thing keeping me here is a psychiatric appointment for tomorrow morning (which I probably need to attend now more than ever, even if it is more of a diagnostic appointment for wherever I do move to). I am exploring bus options (supposedly the city provides one way bus tickets out of town), but it looks like any move will probably not change my homeless status.

So much for getting a job that pays $13 and hour or getting the chance to vote Andrew "No Homo" Cuomo out of office this November...

April 22, 2018

Supposedly today is Earth Day. I understand the recycling and trying to protect the environment thing, but I don't understand the extremists who worship the earth as a god and are willing to save the planet at the expense of their own species.

I've been stuck for the last 3 months in the NYC homeless system. My first 3 weeks were at a "Drop-in" center in Brownsville, Brooklyn. Unlike city shelters, drop-in centers refuse to provide beds for their clients. They use chairs. 3 weeks of attempting to sleep in chairs and the back problems as a result of sleeping in chairs led to me entering the city's shelter system. I've spent over 10 weeks in that nightmare, with dozens of rejected job applications, the forced sale of my car, and the HRA/Public Assistance nightmare driving me to the brink of insanity.

I'm supposed to hear from my last outstanding job application tomorrow. The pay is minimum wage (although NYC's new minimum wage of $13 an hour is higher than anything I've ever earned before). But I see no point of staying in NYC and wasting away in the shelter system if I can't find work. I'd argue that unemployment has gone up here precisely because of the new minimum wage. And even that's not enough to keep up with the rents, with SROs now renting for far more than my last apartment in Maine.

I don't know if those fancy resumes, those sessions at the writer's workshop where I managed to start on a decent short story, or all that free medical care that proved that I still have asthma (and managed to prove and disprove that I had serious liver problems), I don't know if any of it was worth it.

January 8, 2018

Amazing how one event can send your whole life crashing down. In my case, it was a major car repair. What started off as an oil change appointment led to a burst steering hose and a check-busting $400 repair that due to the scarcity of replacement parts is still not completed yet, 3 days after I took the car in. Without a running car, I have no way of getting to work. Because of my lack of transportation, I no longer have a job. I have at most 10 days to find a job walking distance from my apartment before rent is due again. If I don't have the rent money, then I lose my apartment (and the $610 deposit), and will probably end up homeless again. So far this period since March 2015 has been my longest period of not being in a homeless shelter in the last 10 years. But I guess I can't escape the inevitable again.

September 25, 2015

20 years ago, I got to see Pope John Paul in his Popemobile when he visited my then-home of Baltimore, MD. I didn't have a camera to document this. A lot has changed since his US visit in October 1995. Less than 10 years later, Pope John Paul II died. About 2 months after that visit, my father (who by that time was my last living ancestor) died. Less than a year later, I nearly got killed by my neighbors in Baltimore and had to move- and ended up in New York.

In 2015, I had to move back to the New York area after a disastrous 7 months in my hometown of Colorado Springs. I spent 2 months at a Catholic shelter in Jersey City before moving back to Rockaway. Since then, I got hired for what is probably the highest paying job of my life. I finally got to visit Ireland 27 years after I found out I had ancestry there (although I never got to meet any Clarke relatives). And earlier this evening (while at work), I finally got to see the current Pope.

I was in the middle of deliveries on the Upper East Side of Manhattan when I got to the intersection of Madison and E 66th and was prevented from going further by the NYPD. I managed to get a prime viewing spot for the Papal motorcade just as Pope Francis was passing from his school visit in East Harlem to Central Park.

Pope Francis has had a lot to say on the environment, the poor, sin, forgiveness, and prayer. Indeed, numerous times today, he asked people (many of whom aren't Catholic) to pray for him. A lot of people seem to have forgotten that one of the key missions of the Church is to help the poor. Here in New York, the Church is at the forefront of helping the needy. In other dioceses, the Church doesn't have enough resources to help the poor. In my hometown, Catholic Charities runs Marian House which feeds the poor and homeless and provides health services and many other resources except shelter. There is not enough shelter services in that town (especially for women, families, and men who are not substance abusers or veterans), and the so-called religious institution that runs the only all-purpose (200 bed) shelter in town is at best using the shelter as a way to extort money from the taxpayers of Colorado Springs. Austin is in even more dire shape, with about 500 shelter beds between 2 shelters and a homeless population between 3000-5000. And in Syria, the homeless population is in the millions and migrating towards Turkey and Europe due to a civil war primarily between the Baath Butchers of the Assad regime and the barbaric terrorists of the so-called Islamic State.

If Pope Francis and the Church can actually come up with concrete solutions to the environmental, social, and homeless/refugee problems that plague this planet, then they need all the prayers they can get. But I do trust the Church a lot more than I trust the Syrian, Russian, Turkish, or American governments at this point. Besides, if the Hildabeest, the Socialist, or Trump win the Presidency next year, I don't see any point of staying in the United States. Too many on the American left and the right fail to see how their policies hurt the poor and harm society.

March 27, 2015

My first new blog of the year was composed in a place I never thought I'd be again. New York, or more specifically, my now seemingly permanent home neighborhood of Rockaway Park, Queens. And for the 4th straight year, I spent a good part of Lent in a homeless shelter. But I ended up in the shelter (in Jersey City, NJ, of all places) after getting into a disagreement with the super/resident manager of my Salvation Army-owned transitional housing in Colorado Springs. That led to me being evicted with 10 minutes warning and being blacklisted from the city's main shelter. After getting thrown out and threatened with arrest if I stepped foot on Salvation Army property without approval, I went to Marian House, the main low-income/homeless information center in Colorado Springs. After rejecting their suggestions of relocating to Portland or Seattle, I took a Greyhound back to New York and ended up in New Jersey when my now seemingly permanent residence didn't have any rooms available. One finally became available on the 25th of March, and I moved back with the unemployment I had accumulated while in the shelter. And after about 20 interviews and 19 rejections, I got hired by Urban Express, which means next week I will be a foot messenger again, albeit one paid slightly above NY's minimum wage and making about twice what I did in my last messenger gig.

So now, it's back to the beach and back to delivering on the streets of Manhattan. And (in a somewhat repeat of Lent 2013 and 2014) back to creative artistic pursuits- namely a writers' workshop run by the Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen. Hopefully some of the pre-work stuff I submitted can get published.

April 12, 2014

I don't know how it got pulled off, but it did.

A weird dream to try and pull off a multimedia production about the problems facing Austin's homeless community. It involved an overeager Israeli theater director, a few UT students, a couple of professional actors, numerous contributors from the ARCH, and a certain aspiring music producer with bad stage fright who had the misfortune to have experienced homelessness in Austin and New York in 2013.

It took over 6 months of short videos, interviews, monologue creating, and rehearsing and more rehearsing. Several dropped out of the project due to creative differences or out-of-area job offers. A couple of people were added late to the project, including the music producer. He even created the theme song for the project, titled "Am I Invisible".

An arts grant was provided for the project. St. David's Episcopal Church offered their gymnasium as the first performance site for the project. Sets were built, rehearsals were practiced and practiced. The music producer got a warehouse job in Tech Ridge and a short term rental in East Austin. A short play detailing how a man went from housing to eviction to arrest for sleeping on the street was added. One of the ARCH participants had way too much fun with the baton during the arrest scene. April 12, the day of the performance, arrived. More rehearsals, more intensity, more flashlights, and costume changes. A big pizza lunch about an hour before the performance. Most were expecting about 20-60 viewers for this performance. Instead, about 150 showed up, ready to witness either disaster or a theatrical statement.

The music producer slightly overcame his stage fright. And due to some pre-production technical glitches, his music wasn't even featured in the production. But somehow the thing was pulled off, with loud applause after each monologue and the final scene. Hopefully this project will lead to changes in the way Austin treats its homeless population, preferably doing away with the tight restrictions on shelter and policies that make housing more unaffordable for at-risk low income people. And hopefully those theater participants that are still homeless can use their exposure in this project to get out of shelter alley.

As for the music producer (who if you haven't figured out by now is me), he walked home after the performance to his modest dwelling in East Austin and wondered whether it was worth it or not to have moved back to Austin after his disastrous 3 months there (mostly in shelter alley) in 2013. Yes, he got 2 jobs in 2 months. But all his friends are back in the tri-state area along with a few politicians who probably deserve to get impeached or worse for their views on religious Catholics and conservatives. And his hometown of Colorado Springs is a lot more affordable on housing than Austin is. But their economy is in bad shape, and moving there now without job offers or a car would probably lead to a lengthy stay on Sierra Madre St (the shelter alley of the Springs). Many with money in this town would enjoy 6th Street. But it is too close to shelter alley, and brings up a lot of bad memories I associate with this town.

Photos of the rehearsals below:

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April 3, 2014

What a difference a month makes. Last month, I thought I would have a quick 2 week warehouse assignment and still be stuck in Austin's shelter alley until something else came along or until I got tired enough of Texas to move back to Colorado or the Northeast. Now, the Pearson assignment is still going on, I am now in a house share in East Austin, and literally have 2 jobs. The other job was at first a hobby I volunteered with last year (see my 6th Street video on Youtube for some of the results of that project) that morphed into a multimedia/theater/art project about homeless life in Austin called Am I Invisible. When the director, Roni Chelben, found out I was moving back to Austin, she invited me to join the project even though I was not homeless at the time and had no intention of reliving my shelter alley nightmare from 2013. I ended up writing a monologue about my own views on homelessness in Austin (and how different it is than in New York) and contributing original music compositions to the project. For about a month, I was as much in the homeless shelter nightmare as the other 4 primary participants. But now, I am housed, in better conditions than I had in Rockaway. But that shelter alley/ARCH nightmare still goes on for hundreds of people in Austin- not counting the 1000-2000 who are camping out in vacant lots and park benches because of the extreme lack of shelter space. Most of the ARCH participants in the Am I Invisible project have gone through this nightmare of homelessness and unemployment for years- and were involved when I participated last year. By the grace of God, I was able to get employment and get out of that Hell. But most in shelter alley can't. This in a city with 4.8% unemployment and rising (but nowhere near NYC-level) housing costs.

Got off the train from New York, wonder why I'm back in the place where I was most invisible
where they who pledged to help told me to sleep on the streets
In New York it's illegal to sleep on the streets, and all who need it (by law) can get shelter
In Austin, there is not enough shelter space, and the police chief wants those than can help to move out of town.

Want to hear the rest, go to the Trinity Center gym on Saturday, April 12, at 3PM. This could be a boon for my self confidence and music career as well as helping others who are still in that nightmare get employment and housing.