December 30, 2018

What a long strange year it's been. I started the year with a high paying job in a small town in Maine. I had an apartment, a cat named Misty, and a 17 year old Ford Taurus that had handled a cross country move from Texas to Maine with minimal difficulty.

Less than a month later, I was unemployed, the apartment was no longer in my name, Misty was in the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society shelter, and the Taurus had barely survived a move from Maine to Brooklyn after a steering hose burst that wiped out my savings. My remaining possessions were in a storage unit in Long Island City. By the end of March, the Taurus was in the possession of a formerly car-less West Indian couple from Long Island, and I was in a psychosis inducing living environment in the New York City shelter system. By that time, I had resumed regular writing for the first time since March 2016 thanks to the Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen Writers' Workshop.

By the end of April, I had enough. Elmhurst Hospital diagnosed me with a severe case of depression. I had snuck my laptop into the shelter and composed a few songs- one of which mixed EDM and classical. I used what little savings I had from my state tax refunds and public assistance to pay for a one way flight out of NYC and the shelter system to Denver.

I spent a little over a week in Denver before ending up in one of their shelters, which was run by Denver's Catholic Charities. That situation was a lot less chaotic than the CAMBA, Ward's Island, and SCO shelters in New York. I was able to find temp work rather quickly. But the temp assignments were not permanent, and the one permanent job I secured (which lasted 10 days) put me at odds with my body clock and the shelter's meal schedule. During my spare time, I joined a writer's group from Denver called Hard Times. But after 2 months in the shelter and nothing permanent on the horizon, I decided to move back to my hometown of Colorado Springs in mid-July.

I blew most of my savings on a month and a half of a house share rental in the Hillside neighborhood. After numerous job rejections (including one at the Chidlaw Building where my father worked in the 1970s), I was hired by Elwood Staffing (the successor to my former longtime employer of SOS Staffing), and sent to a warehouse on the south side of town. The work was unlike any previous warehouse or assembly work I had done before. My coworkers were very close-knit and social, a major departure in attitude from previous co-workers in Denver, NYC, and Texas. My medical records were transferred to Peak Vista and Aspen Pointe. By the end of my first visit to Aspen Pointe, I found out I was misdiagnosed in NYC and Denver- I have been suffering from (previously undiagnosed) PTSD for years, dating back to when my father was still alive. Numerous events have triggered it, including my mother's sudden death in 1991, the events of 1995 (when I lost my grandparents and father within a 9 month span), my eviction and subsequent blacklisting by the Colorado Springs Salvation Army in January 2015 which led to a Catholic Charities assisted Greyhound ticket back east, and most recently, the violent DeLousio-mandated NYC shelter nightmare.

By late October, I had enough money to buy a car, a Buick Century. Due to an extended Thanksgiving break, I drove the Buick east towards Pennsylvania and NYC. I got to visit my relatives in PA for the first time in over a year. And the Buick was big enough to fit all of my belongings from the storage unit, which I emptied in the Buick's only (day) trip to NYC. The ride back was scary, after running out of money due to an unexpected insurance bill and snow-related road closures in Missouri.

Less than a week after my return from Pennsylvania, the warehouse laid me off. Apparently the decision was made high up in the company because my supervisor and co-workers had no idea until I returned to clean out my locker. Elwood sent me to a lumber company (which resulted in 2 hours of work and a finger injury) and to a moving company that handled events at the Broadmoor. About 10 days after I was laid off, I was called back to my former warehouse site, and I'm still there to this day.

I have been going to Mass at St. Mary's Cathedral since I returned to the Springs. A few people there remember me from the previous times I attended Mass. One family even invited me to their Christmas luncheon, to which I am very thankful.

What a long strange year it's been. I'm not quite up to where I was in early January. But I've discovered a lot about myself. I'm probably more open to different kinds of friends and relationships. I'm probably more Catholic than I was at the start of the year, as various church-run institutions in Denver and Colorado Springs helped me recover from a traumatic and violent situation in New York. I'm a more prolific writer than I have been in years. I have written 2 short stories with characters I haven't written about since 2011. Thanks to Holy Apostles, Hard Times, and Wattpad, anyone can read and comment on these works. I haven't composed as much music as I normally do (although I'm working on a couple of tracks for my annual New Year's Day release on Tuesday). Hopefully in 2019 I can get more settled.

November 13, 2016

What a difference a week makes. Last Sunday, I was updating my laptop computer at the McCreless Library for what I thought would be the last time as an American. Now, I'm debating on what to do with all that money I saved for an international move that thanks to Trump's victory won't happen this year.

I spent most of the last few hours updating my laptop at the library again. I updated and remastered 4 tracks from previous years on Soundcloud. It helps my still minuscule music career if I have professionally mastered tracks on my Soundcloud page. It would be great if there were a terrestrial radio station in San Antonio that actually played EDM or Dubstep or Trance. And I still don't know how to contribute to Channel 5's "Breakfast Tracks", bumper music they play during their morning newscast.

San Antonio seems to be politically divided, although not as violently divided as many other major US cities. Yesterday, the city's downtown was full of life, with the normal tourist hordes, a Veteran's Parade, the city's official car show, a Notre Dame/Army college football game at the Alamodome, and an anti-Trump rally that compared to most of the others disgracing this land was rather peaceful. Most of these other rallies are at the very least destructive, hateful and at worse, bystanders have been shot and police have gotten attacked. The DNC and liberal media have been unable to tell these protestors that the election is over, they lost, and they need to go home (or better yet, to Canada). Most of the protestors are leftist millennials. If these unruly youths are truly the future of this country and they want the same leftist anti-Catholic, anti-life, anti-economic-common-sense crap that the Democrats thrust upon the populace before this months election, then I may have to leave if they ever do take power again.

Between this broken country, my still messed up personal life, and my seriously ill uncle, maybe I need to pray more.

I did go to the evening Mass at the Cathedral last night. San Fernando Cathedral is one of the most welcoming Catholic churches I've ever been to. If a 300 year old church with a predominately Hispanic congregation can be so welcome to international and English speaking tourists, then maybe there is hope for this society.

December 13, 2014

What a difference a few weeks makes. Right before Thanksgiving, I was told there would be hours reductions but no layoffs at my job, and as of the afternoon of December 9, I am unemployed again. I don't know how long it will take to find another job- since December is the absolute worst time for job searching in Colorado Springs. So for now I am waiting for my unemployment paperwork and pouring my free time into promoting a song submission I made to Indaba Music at this link.

For now, Colorado Springs is warm for this time of year and looks something like this:

But thanks to an impending storm that brought flooding to California, tomorrow might resemble mid-November when the streets of Colorado Springs looked like this:

November 23, 2014

4 months ago, I had no idea what to expect or if I would even stay in the Springs. By the end of July I was stuck in the local shelter. And in the beginning of August, I found out my uncle and Godfather Larry Bowling had died. But I managed to find work with a local temp agency that picked up many of the contracts of the now-departed SOS Staffing (my previous Springs employer from 2007-08 and 2010-11). Now I have spent nearly 3 months in a transitional housing program that is nicer than my previous residences in Texas and New York. That housing is in Knob Hill, just west of my home neighborhood of Rustic Hills, where I have worked at a metals warehouse since early October.

Now I get to enjoy Colorado winter weather- including half a foot of snow and a 55 hour stretch below 10 degrees, and a 35 minute walk to work in those conditions.

I released a few original songs in September on Soundcloud and Bandcamp. I also submitted alternate versions of "Down" and "Ask" to Indaba Music.

Now on to Thanksgiving, December, and the commercial nightmare known as the Holiday Season in the United States.

July 29, 2014

I have been back in Colorado Springs about a month. So far, I am not employed, and I have to move out of where I was staying on Thursday. But I still have one more interview scheduled tomorrow in Briargate before I have to move, and another offer for local employment that requires 3 weeks of training in Utah. I also have more songs recorded and for sale. I probably will update this blog again whenever the employment and housing situation settles, because this is really starting to resemble my last stay in the Springs (2012-13) and that resulted in the longest period of unemployment I ever had since I entered the workforce and the longest period of homelessness I ever suffered (although I didn't actually stay in a shelter until after I left the Springs).

July 17, 2014

The theatrical production ended nearly 2 months ago. The Pearson job ended about 4 weeks ago. And now I am back in Colorado Springs. I wish I could say I am gainfully employed, but I cannot. I wish I could say I reconnected with old acquaintances when I moved back here, but I cannot. I was able to move all the stuff out of Austin to here. I came up with a few new songs. I even came up with another listening page and a sales page with the following 2 albums: So now it's a race to see if I end up getting a job, royalties, or unemployment by August 1.

January 30, 2014

While I am still unemployed but housed, I have been on a bit of a creative streak. Since the second underpaid stint at Mitchell's ended on January 24, I came up with a song (1099) that blasts their pay structure and other businesses moving to that pay structure to avoid paying the new $8 per hour minimum wage. Over the last couple of days, I went to slightly less incendiary lyrical topics- the piping plovers who are holding the Rockaway Boardwalk hostage (Piping Plovers) and Governor Cuomo, Mayor De Blasio, and other ACORN/Working Families politicians who think pro-life, pro gun Catholics have no business being in New York (Heaven, Hell, and Rockaway- Coda).


And here are the lyrics below to those songs:
1099- by Thomas Clarke

Minimum wage, we've got a way around that... You've heard me talk about the 1099 before but here's why it's such a threat to the poor For 1099, you're supposed to be a subcontractor setting your own pay, setting your own hours Getting commission on something that's supposed to pay a decent wage It was never designed to be a way for employers to enslave and impoverish employees under the guise that they're just independent contractors But that's what it's become in New York City It's not working, get it right and fix it $8 an hour might be too high to be the minimum but for $5 an hour for twice as much work for overtime hours with no overtime pay is too little And it's not just the milkman messengers from Long Island City (Mitchells) that are doing this How about some inedible fruit arrangements from Manhattan with a legal wage the reward after months of 5 an hour? How about the big kahuna of messenger companies (Urban Express) that switched to low commission and no tax help after paying above the old minimum wage last year? Nobody seems to know or care and they think the ones getting paid a legal wage are the only ones getting screwed Some think that more pay with benefits is too little and some think that the taxpayers are their piggy bank Why should they get one penny more when there are people earning far less, working a lot more and not getting a legal wage? Fix the 1099 gap so those trapped in it can get a legal wage fix the healthcare system but not by forcing people to buy insurance and driving those premiums through the roof fix poverty by helping the poor become not poor instead of punishing them by making them or keeping them poor The leftist ideas from before didn't work then and they are making stuff worse now Quit making stuff too expensive Quit overtaxing the rich when their money can alleviate some of the suffering and they can move their money with them Leaving those who cannot afford the bill the only ones who can pay for it. Quit saying life and self defense and religion are part of the problem and not welcome When they may be part of the solution The 1099 perps aren't the only problem the jackasses need to go too get it right before the wrong type of revolution comes and heads start rolling and no one wins it's not working, get it right and fix it

Piping Plovers lyrics (c) 2014 by Thomas Clarke

we fly across the waves without much ease we look cute when we strut and when we feed we look cute, but don't mess with us we're the piping plovers we migrate west, we like the upper crust we trot across the beach so cute and so free we look cute, but don't misjudge us we milk "endangered" for all it's worth we look cute, but don't mess with us we'll get our gull goons after you we look cute, but don't mess with us we're the piping plovers we left our nests on the ghetto beach we claimed it was because of Sandy we look cute, but don't misjudge us Don't think you're getting your new boardwalk anytime soon Not until you pay for our new beachfront property! we look cute, but don't mess with us we're the piping plovers don't mess with us we'll get our EPA lawyers after you we're the piping plovers think we should press FEMA for a new jacuzzi? no, let the pigeons pay for it from their tributes


Heaven, Hell, and Rockaway (Coda) Lyrics- (c) 2014

Trapped somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and Rockaway between what's left of America and Europe somewhere where the poor are getting poorer the Faith is under attack what used to be wrong is now right and what used to be right is now not welcome Somewhere in Rockaway the pigeons, seagulls, and piping plovers are fighting over food at the shore and the plovers are holding up the new Boardwalk until 2017! politicians are fighting over monetary food over how progressive they can be when they're really regressive who says someone being pro-life and wanting to defend oneself has no business being in New York? Maybe Cuomo, DeBlasio, and their ACORN and jackass buddies should leave New York instead! I'm to poor to live here comfortably............ Stuck somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and Rockaway and maybe somewhere between Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Texas if things don't work out here...... Who said I had to stick to one style? who said I had to leave things the way they were? it's a brave but messed up new world and I'm trying to adapt

November 5, 2013

22 years ago today, my mother died. About a year ago, I was in an evacuation shelter due to Hurricane Sandy. This year, I am still in Rockaway Park (after detours in Jamaica, Midtown, the west side of Colorado Springs, Downtown Austin, and Eureka Springs, Arkansas). I gained and lost 2 jobs. And now I am big into the music production stuff. Below is my latest song and the politically charged lyrics to it.
Lyrics- Get It Right (with appropriate photos)

Verse 1
New York is a guaranteed right to shelter city, but there are people who would rather sleep in the tunnels, train stations, and streets than go to the shelters in Austin there are 10 homeless people for every available homeless shelter bed and those that don't win the bed lottery are told to sleep outside knowing full well they can be arrested get it right

Verse 2
Obamacare passed solely on the votes of one party it claimed to help lower costs by forcing people to buy insurance Needing insurance when you're sick is the main problem with healthcare and they're doubling down on what is wrong and increasing costs for everyone

Verse 3

since 1973 over 50 million have died because of abortion yet many say infanticide is a god-given right guess they forgot about Doctor Gosnell and who planned parenthood was meant to control if Margaret had her way, Barry would never had been born

Verse 4

hey Bill hey Bill or is it Wilhelm? quit listening to the ACORNS and the nuts this city has enough well-intentioned problems without your nutty leftist friends making it worse

Verse 5

big city not so bright lights how could they confuse an OVH with an M400 breaking down after 6 years now they want to switch to L E D but they've only got one chance and 200 million to get it right and fix the lights

Verse 6
who would have thought that learning would become a money pit benefits for all those not learning everyone wants to teach but no one can afford to learn you think you should mortgage your future to learn the present

Verse 7
does it make sense to believe that stupid peacock when they blew up that truck and the truth west side alphabets are too flashy and the canine on 6th wants money for what should be free can't you see the truth

Verse 8

whats the difference between a patriot and a liar between waterboarding and public extortion whats a few trillion between friends and we'd rather know what Lindsay or Brad or what the fox says than the truth get it right MFers/scumbags get it right before it's too late

October 31, 2013

A little over a year has passed since Hurricane Sandy devastated my neighborhood of Rockaway Park. Since then, the flood waters have recessed, the boardwalk has been torn down, the rooming houses have reopened, and the beach sands have been raised a few feet.

But there is still beach erosion, unemployment, and a lot of businesses that never reopened. Since I managed to get unemployed again, I have been spending most of my free time until the rent money runs out on the laptop. The wifi is gone in my building, but the Seaside Library reopened (1 year to the day it got destroyed by Sandy) and my laptop is a weekday fixture there now. I finally figured out some of those DJ and music making programs, and I have created several songs, most of which can be found on my Soundcloud page. And this is the widget for my latest Halloween-themed song, Down....