Sunday, September 11, 2011

September 11, 2011

I didn't have internet access or a digital camera (or any camera) on this date 10 years ago, which is why I'm using alternative video/photo sources on this blog. And for the most part I would love to never remember again the horrors of what happened 5 miles from my residence on that date. I would love never to remember watching that horrible sight of the North Tower collapse live on WCBS-TV (which was the only commercial English language station not knocked off the air when that happened). I would love to forget the smells of death and the debris that came across the harbor. I would love to forget the endless funeral coverage and the media taunting by Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, Hamas and their ilk. I would love to forget that one of the priests at the church I was a member of  in 2001 (St. Francis of Assisi in Midtown) died for the sole crime of administering last rites to an injured fireman.

Ten years later, I would love to ignore the event happening just outside the library where I'm writing this blog- a tribute and Beach Boys concert, in a city of 600000 that was never on Al Qaeda's radar. Sure, Najibullah Zazi lived in nearby Aurora, but instead of crossing Yosemite Street, he had to go back to New York to implement his terror scheme.

It's hard to believe that just over 10 years ago, I was an NYPD candidate (until some health problems and an ugly firing got in the way) who should have been there that day. Before September of 2001, no one ever thought the US would be involved in a deadly, undermanned Vietnam-type war in Afghanistan, or in another war in Iraq.

But all of that stuff did happen, and 10 years later, there is no waking up from this nightmare, not for the city of New York, not for those who died in the planes and at the Pentagon, and for the thousands of those whose loved ones died on that day.

Most of the readings for today's Mass (which I'm sure were the same at St. Francis as they were at Holy Ghost) had to do with forgiveness and healing. But if I can't forgive a scumbag politician who bribed my co-workers (and sent R-rated texts to a teenager), if I can't forgive another scumbag politician who fucked up the job market as well as some hookers, if I can't forgive various family members who ignored and virtually disowned me in my greatest time of need earlier this summer, and if I can't forgive my possibly dying sister who has just gone on another psychotic ego trip, how the Hell am I supposed to forgive a bunch of Satan worshiping terrorists who want to turn my longtime home into a nuclear wasteland and who succeeded in killing thousands of my neighbors 10 years ago?

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